YOU USED TO CALL ME PUMPKIN NOW I'M HALLOWEEN
REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO YOUR JELLY BEAN
YOU USED TO CALL ME SCHNOOKUMS AND SHIT LIKE THAT
NOW YOU'RE AFTER ME WITH A BASEBALL BAT

I REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO BE THE KING
YOUR HONEY SWEET DARLING BABY EVERYTHING
I USED TO BE YOUR TALL DARK MYSTERY MAN
NOW I'M JUST STRAIGHT UP HISTORY MAN

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WOULD BE ALRIGHT
JUST WHEN I STARTED TO BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING WAS OUT OF SIGHT
YOU LEFT ME WITH NOTHING BUT A SCRIBBLED NOTE
THAT SAID I WOULD NO LONGER BE YOUR LOVE BOAT
FROM HERE ON OUT MY PET NAME WOULD BE X
YOUR X YOUR X YOUR X

IT USED TO BE SUGAR THEN IT TURNED INTO SALT
I USED TO ROCK YOUR WORLD NOW I'M STANDING ON A FAULT LINE
LYING NAKED IN A HAIL STORM IN THE DARK
YOU'RE MY LITTLE TORNADO AND I AM YOUR TRAILER PARK
YOU USED TO CALL ME NAMES TOO CUTE TO REPEAT
LIKE HONEY BUNCH HAIRY BEAR AND PICCOLO PEET
GOOCHY GOOCHY GOO GOO GAGA SHIT LIKE THAT
NOW YOU'RE AFTER ME SCREAMING YOU DIRTY RAT

I DON'T REMEMBER APPLYING FOR A NAME CHANGE
SO WHY IS IT YOU'RE CALLING ME MISTER DERANGED
PSYCHOPATHIC PORNOGRAPHIC STINKING DRUNK
FAILING FAST LYING ASS WORTHLESS PUNK

YOU USED TO CALL ME SWEETY PIE AND BABY DOLL
I GUESS ANOTHER STUDS KICKING IN MY STALL
YOU'LL PROBABLY CALL HIM SUPERMAN OR LOVERBOY
YOU'LL PROBABLY DISREGARD HIM LIKE A BROKEN TOY

JUST WHEN HE THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS GOING HIS WAY
JUST HE STARTED TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING WAS HUNKY DORY
HE'LL LOOK AT THAT CLOUD THAT HE'S STANDING ON
AND WITH AN ITSY BITSY TINY LITTLE ALMOST INAUDIBLE SQUEAK
HE'LL NOTICE
ITS GONE

FROM HERE ON OUT HIS PET NAME WOULD BE X
YOUR X YOUR X YOUR X

SWEET PIE?
NO X
HONEY BUNCH?
NO X
BUBBLE BUTT?
NO X
PUMPKIN FACE
X